Book 19 - Princesses & Pornstars

Here's something a little left of my usual reading centre. Princesses and Pornstars: Sex, Power, Identity by Emily Maguire is a fascinating and frank analysis of the roles and images of women as defined by our modern, supposedly "post-feminist" society. Maguire draws on the messages of everything from raunch culture to the modesty movement, sex education in schools to porn, marriage to same-sex relationships, plastic surgery to dieting and tabloids. She uses personal anecdotes, interviews, media and scholarly studies to point out how women's roles are still very much defined by their relationship to the male, and not necessarily in a positive way.

This book is absolutely packed with insight. It's told in a conversational style and is therefore thoroughly readable without compromising on the issues it is discussing. Here are just a few of the key messages that stood out for me:

- School sex education usually covers the mechanics of getting pregnant and how to avoid it (protection, abstinence). It rarely covers the reality of teen sex - how to comfortably say no (even in the middle of things), how to actually initiate sex (it's not always the boys!), other "forms" of sex and whether they're safe, how to make it pleasurable for both parties (and this doesn't always mean boy-girl either). Alternative sources of education are very male-centric - porn, raunchy music videos etc. I was vaguely alarmed by her interview with three teenage girls who knew and would talk about every way of pleasing a boy but clammed up completely when it came to their own pleasure.

- Girls are constantly told how to stay "safe" and avoid being raped. Maguire asks: why not direct the rape prevention message at boys? As she points out: "Of course not many boys will grow up to become rapists, but that's no reason not to direct the message at them. Not a single woman has caused her own rape, and yet girls are bombarded with advice that can do nothing except cause our would-be rapist to find a different victim" (p79).

- When it comes to career and motherhood, societal pressure and government policy push women into an either-or situation about staying home. Maguire also points out the idea that women "naturally" know how to look after babies and children is a load of guff. With the exception of breastfeeding, a person of any sex can change a nappy or supervise a child. The difference is that an expectant mother tends to read books, seek out advice and support from others and generally learn parenting on-the-job. There is no reason a man couldn't do any of this - if the incentive to existed. And in our current society (with the exception of single dads) it rarely does.

These are just a few of the ideas at play in this book. While I wouldn't ascribe to everything in it blindly, it did help to clarify my concerns with certain trends I've noticed in our current society, and open my eyes to a whole bunch of others. And I wholeheartedly agree that we need continue pushing for the ultimate goal of Maguire's style of feminisim - that each woman be seen as an individual member of society with various choices, beliefs and lifestyles first, rather than simply as a "woman".